Being people pleaser increases your chances of being yourself made depresser point and being a people pleaser has the following inherent risk factors involved for instance… it raises undue expectations-people start expecting a whole lot more than you can or should deliver for example if in workplace few extra hours in office then automatically reasons for staying late in office on a daily basis increases the boss may also take it for granted, that’s not just the case in office but it may be at home or anywhere else even the best idea I feel is to be honest and true to yourself first and how you are supposed to be at work or say at home, stretching infinite limits may drag you in to problematic zones or may be after stretching all those limits to make others happy and pleased may take you in the back seat or even kicking yourself at the back every day when those people take your niceness for granted is a sure recipe for depression at some point of your life it’s better that we draw the line where we have to and better say no although politely but staunchly to save you from feeling miserable.
It wrongly makes you feel selfish and guilty in many a wise dictionaries mind you trying to make everyone happy is definition of impossible a sure shot one and the attempt to do that impossible task can only drag you in at the cost of your happiness. There are people whom I have come across they feel tremendously guilty about finding or putting themselves in a happy state of mind aren’t they especially the middle aged mothers or stay at home moms but I find that to be the biggest challenge and another assured benefit from stay at home mom is you be the boss yourself setting your goals and time bound targets, what’s so crucifixingly wrong in that now a days the trend is if you are working even if it’s a mediocer one they seems to be clad in that extra smart outfit whether they know it suits them or not along with the other expenditures of all the basic things of day to day life transportation, maids child care ‘nani’ etc and much more above all the nonflexible working hours are way too demanding but then you are providing the precious time to your family and kids who once they grow up will never ever come to their childhood period, then where’s the loss these women who stay at home try really hard to please others but what’s the guilty that’s engulfing you common cheer up but don’t be ashamed of what you are doing, their condition sadly, is so that we can make such a silly virtue out of being such scapegoats or being sacrificial lambs through their lives. We have to stress on our own virtues and the people we love and whom we know will stand with us no matter what, there are very few people I think who will stand for your greatness or will acknowledge your sacrifices or that you made them stand sacrificing your own time and virtues, I think people would really acknowledge your greatness whole heartedly and also that your greatness lies in not caring about your own happiness are you getting what I m trying to say a people pleaser gets so busy and engrossed pleasing people but they forget one term that people also includes them as an independent entity, first and foremost if we don’t love ourselves honestly then how can we love the other person in front of you we have to pleased by ourselves at the very first instance so first include yourself be the priority in the people please group and trust me it’s a miracle that you will do unto you for yourself by yourself I there’s anything I have learned till now from my corporate working experience or otherwise also is that you could pretend to be all great or whatever or a saint but you can never make others truly happy till you are happy from within or rather I call the term you happy or yuppie, those yuppie moments should always be in your fingertips to tingle you no matter what you be the institution of yourself let others follow you…
It exhausts you…
to be continued…