A People Pleaser gets so extremely taken up with pleasing others or everyone that they literally forget the meaning of the word that pleasing everyone also include her/himself, don’t forget that the word people pleaser also include oneself and trust me if there is anything that I have mustered from meeting and interacting with different people from different arenas of life is that one could pretend to be all great or whatever but you can never make others truly happy till you are happy from deep within.
It exhausts you-trying to please people is just so so so very exhausting that I am helpless to find its superlative degree instead I would put it like it becomes a mania or OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), the meaning of the line ‘Don’t say yes when you have to say no’ diminishes somewhere in between, trying to be popular drains you out entirely taking the form of a disease and then thinking and rethinking what others would think and say about me, what favour’s they will do for me if I do this for them, to please them the parameters of expectations rises to sky high levels, thus the vicious circle of expectations and not getting them takes a person to a different depressive level. So this year I have vowed it for myself a seven step method to avoid this discomfort a seven point pledge to render my life with the pleasant rainbow shades, hopefully this will make a lasting difference in my life and also to people who try to understand and follow these magnetic rules:
1. I will stand for myself first not thinking that guilty feeling inside oh I don’t have any right to be happy in this whole world so to conclude I will not feel bad about myself wanting to be happy.
2. I will keep my shoulders straight taking a deep breath looking straight into the persons eyes and say ‘NO’, and not follow it with an explanation, ‘no’ a straight ‘no’ just on the face eye on eye, no explanation for that ‘NO’.
3. I will be humble and considerate, but I will not apologize until it’s my fault, so no apologies for somebody else’s fault.
4. I will look after myself genuinely with love, prioritize myself and my needs over unworthy people without getting on for that guilt trip.
5. I will not feel obliged to answer anyone who demands my time and attention at their will.
6. I will be honest and polite… yet assertive and very clear in expressing my opinions about things I don’t like it sternly and with loaded assertion.
7. I will maintain a self respect folder and do something everyday to make a worthwhile entry into it and anyone who tries to cross the threshold of my self esteem would be dumped over without any prior signal no one has the right to destroy or hurt my self esteem if one cannot protect or enhance it then don’t dare rather try to destroy it even it would be an merciless offence.
So the whole horizon now can be seen very well, just take a steady strong step ahead to reach there and yes not reaching there but staying there forever with eternal tranquility and pleasure…prioritizing yourself…